Born from Those Who Are Dear

Translated from the Pali by Ñanamoli Thera.
edited and revised by Bhikkhu Bodhi.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

[1][than][upal] THUS HAVE I HEARD. On one occasion the Blessed One was living at Sāvatthī in Jeta's Grove, Anāthapiṇḍika's Park.

2. Now on that occasion a certain householder's dear and beloved only son had died. After his son's death, he had no more desire to work or to eat. He kept going to the charnel ground and crying: "My only son, where are you? My only son, where are you?"

3. Then that householder went to the Blessed One, and after paying homage to him, sat down at one side. The Blessed One said to him: "Householder, your faculties are not those of one in control of his own mind. Your faculties are deranged."
"How could my faculties not be deranged, venerable sir? For my dear and beloved only son has died. Since he died I have no more desire to work or to eat. I keep going to the charnel ground and crying: 'My only son, where are you? My only son, where are you?"'
"So it is, householder, so it is! Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear."
"Venerable sir, who would ever think that sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear? Venerable sir, happiness and joy are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear." Then, displeased with the Blessed One's words, disapproving of them, the householder rose from his seat and left.

4. Now on that occasion some gamblers were playing with dice not far from the Blessed One. Then the householder went to those gamblers and said: "Just now, sirs, I went to the recluse Gotama, and after paying homage to him, I sat down at one side. When I had done so, the recluse Gotama said to me: 'Householder, your faculties are not those of one in control of his own mind. Your faculties are deranged.' - 'How could my faculties not be deranged, venerable sir? For my dear and beloved only son has died. Since he died I have no more desire to work or to eat. I keep going to the charnel ground and crying: 'My only son, where are you? My only son, where are you?' - 'So it is, householder, so it is! Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear.' - 'Venerable sir, who would ever think that sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear? Venerable sir, happiness and joy are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear.' Then, displeased with the recluse Gotama's words, disapproving of them, I rose from my seat and left."
"So it is, householder, so it is! Happiness and joy are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear."
Then the householder left thinking: "I agree with the gamblers."

5. Eventually this story reached the king's palace. Then King Pasenadi of Kosala told Queen Mallikā: "This is what has been said by the recluse Gotama, Mallikā: 'Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear."'
"If that has been said by the Blessed One, sire, then it is so."
"No matter what the recluse Gotama says, Mallikā applauds it thus: 'If that has been said by the Blessed One, sire, then it is so.' Just as a pupil applauds whatever his teacher says to him, saying: 'So it is, teacher, so it is!'; so too, Mallikā, no matter what the recluse Gotama says, you applaud it thus: 'If that has been said by the Blessed One, sire, then it is so.' Be off, Mallikā, away with you!"

6. Then Queen Mallikā addressed the brahmin Nā'ijangha: "Come, brahmin, go to the Blessed One and pay homage in my name with your head at his feet, and ask whether he is free from illness and affliction and is healthy, strong, and abiding in comfort, saying: 'Venerable sir, Queen Mallikā pays homage with her head at the Blessed One's feet and asks whether the Blessed One is free from illness and affliction and is healthy, strong, and abiding in comfort.' Then say this: 'Venerable sir, have these words been uttered by the Blessed One: "Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear"?' Learn well what the Blessed One replies and report it to me; for Tathāgatas do not speak untruth."
"Yes, madam," he replied, and he went to the Blessed One and exchanged greetings with him. When this courteous and amiable talk was finished, he sat down at one side and said: "Master Gotama, Queen Mallikā pays homage with her head at Master Gotama's feet and asks whether he is free from illness and affliction and is healthy, strong, and abiding in comfort. And she says this: 'Venerable sir, have these words been spoken by the Blessed One: "Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear"?"'

7. "So it is, brahmin, so it is! Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear.

8. "It can be understood from this, brahmin, how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain woman whose mother died. Owing to her mother's death, she went mad, lost her mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my mother? Have you seen my mother?'

9. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain woman whose father died. Owing to her father's death, she went mad, lost her mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my father? Have you seen my father?'

10. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain woman whose brother died. Owing to her brother's death, she went mad, lost her mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my brother? Have you seen my brother?'

11. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain woman whose sister died. Owing to her sister's death, she went mad, lost her mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my sister? Have you seen my sister?'

12. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain woman whose son died. Owing to her son's death, she went mad, lost her mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my son? Have you seen my son?'

13. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain woman whose daughter died. Owing to her daughter's death, she went mad, lost her mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my daghter? Have you seen my daughter?'

14. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain woman whose husband died. Owing to her husband's death, she went mad, lost her mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my husband? Have you seen my husband?'

15. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain man whose mother died. Owing to his mother's death, he went mad, lost his mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my mother? Have you seen my mother?'

16. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain man whose father died. Owing to his father's death, he went mad, lost his mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my father? Have you seen my father?'

17. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain man whose brother died. Owing to his brother's death, he went mad, lost his mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my brother? Have you seen my brother?'

18. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain man whose sister died. Owing to his sister's death, he went mad, lost his mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my sister? Have you seen my sister?'

19. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain man whose son died. Owing to his son's death, he went mad, lost his mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my son? Have you seen my son?'

20. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain man whose daughter died. Owing to his daughter's death, he went mad, lost his mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my daughter? Have you seen my daughter?'

21. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain man whose wife died. Owing to his wife's death, he went mad, lost his mind, and wandered from street to street and from crossroad to crossroad, saying: 'Have you seen my wife? Have you seen my wife?'

22. "And it can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear. Once in this same Sāvatthī there was a certain woman who went to live with her relatives' family. Her relatives wanted to divorce her from her husband and give her to another whom she did not want. Then the woman said to her husband: 'Lord, these relatives of mine want to divorce me from you and give me to another whom I do not want.' Then the man cut the woman in two and committed suicide, thinking: 'We shall be together in the afterlife.' It can also be understood from this how sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear."

23. Then, delighting and rejoicing in the Blessed One's words, the brahmin Nā'ijangha rose from his seat, went to Queen Mallikā, and reported to her his entire conversation with the Blessed One.

24. Then Queen Mallikā went to King Pasenadi of Kosala and asked him: "What do you think, sire? Is Princess Vajirī dear to you?"
"Yes, Mallikā, Princess Vajirī is dear to me."
"What do you think, sire? If change and alteration^[828] took place in Princess Vajirī, would sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair arise in you?"
"Change and alteration in Princess Vajirī would mean an alteration in my life. How could sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair not arise in me?"
"It was with reference to this, sire, that the Blessed One who knows and sees, accomplished and fully enlightened, said: 'Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear.'

25. "What do you think, sire? Is the noble Queen Vāsabhā dear to you?"
"Yes, Mallikā, the noble Queen Vāsabhā is dear to me."
"What do you think, sire? If change and alteration took place in the noble Queen Vāsabhā, would sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair arise in you?"
"Change and alteration in the noble Queen Vāsabhā would mean an alteration in my life. How could sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair not arise in me?"
"It was with reference to this, sire, that the Blessed One who knows and sees, accomplished and fully enlightened, said: 'Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear."'

26. "What do you think, sire? Is General Viḍūḍabha dear to you?"
"Yes, Mallikā, the General Viḍūḍabha is dear to me."
"What do you think, sire? If change and alteration took place in the General Viḍūḍabha, would sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair arise in you?"
"Change and alteration in the General Viḍūḍabha would mean an alteration in my life. How could sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair not arise in me?"
"It was with reference to this, sire, that the Blessed One who knows and sees, accomplished and fully enlightened, said: 'Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear."'

27 "What do you think, sire? Am I dear to you?"
"Yes, Mallikā, you are dear to me."
"What do you think, sire? If change and alteration took place in me, would sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair arise in you?"
"Change and alteration in you would mean an alteration in my life. How could sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair not arise in me?"
"It was with reference to this, sire, that the Blessed One who knows and sees, accomplished and fully enlightened, said: 'Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear."'

28. "What do you think, sire? Are Kāsi and Kosala dear to you?"^[829]
"Yes, Mallikā, Kāsi and Kosala are dear to me. We owe it to Kāsi and Kosala that we use Kāsi sandalwood and wear garlands, scents, and unguents."
"What do you think, sire? If change and alteration took place in Kāsi and Kosala, would sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair arise in you?"
"Change and alteration in Kāsi and Kosala would mean an alteration in my life. How could sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair not arise in me?"
"It was with reference to this, sire, that the Blessed One who knows and sees, accomplished and fully enlightened, said: 'Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear."'

29. "It is wonderful, Mallikā, it is marvellous how far the Blessed One penetrates with wisdom and sees with wisdom! Come, Mallikā, give me the ablution water."^[830] Then King Pasenadi of Kosala rose from his seat, and arranging his up shoulder, he extended his hands in reverential salutation towards the Blessed One and uttered this exclamation three times: "Honour to the Blessed One, accomplished and fully enlightened! Honour to the Blessed One, accomplished and fully enlightened! Honour to the Blessed One, accomplished and fully enlightened!"

^[828] The expression is often used to mean serious illness and death.

^[829] Viḍūḍabha was the king's son, who eventually overthrew him. Kāsi and Kosala are lands over which the king ruled.

^[830] MA: He used this to wash his hands and feet and clean his mouth before saluting the Buddha.

Majjhima Nikāya II. Majjhima Paṇṇāsa 4. Rāja Vagga

The Middle Length Discourses of the Buddha

Sutta 87

Piyajātika suttaɱ

Born from Those Who Are Dear

Majjhima Nikāya
II. Majjhima Paṇṇāsa
4. Rāja Vagga