[ Uposatha ]
Please note that this was written many years ago. At that time and until the past few years, I fell into the practice I mention: making Uposatha practices my daily routine. I made no special efforts on the moon days. More recently, and presumably to the end, I have retained what I could of self-discipline in the face of disruptive physical problems.
Further Reports on Observing Uposatha
That's "observing" not "keeping"! I guess I am getting old and I started on this late. I have managed, since beginning this effort, to keep the Wakeful Watch completely twice. The rest of the time, including last night (4/1/01), I have had to settle for the very little sleep alternative. Four hours is plenty, (I have managed with 1-1/2; last night was 3; I suspect the key will be 20 minutes or a nap) and I suppose that is not all that unrespectable.
I am coming out with this for two reasons: First, I do not wish to create the illusion, by recommending the observance of Uposatha, that I have mastered this discipline; Second, by stating absolutely that even with this half-assed observance of mine the benefits are tremendous, I do wish to encourage others to make the effort.
I have been pleasantly surprised by the fact that when I fail the full routine I have not been subjected to self-criticism and shame; in fact the reverse has been the case: an inner sense of well-being is the dominant sensation, but the main benefit that I can point to is the positive psychological effect of actually making an effort.
Give it a go, folks!
Face the enemy!
PS: A couple more points:
When faced with an overwhelming desire to sleep at 8:00 in the evening of a few weeks back, I realized that it was my stubborn nature rebelling against being told what to do, so I told it: No forced requirements here, do the best you can. And that seemed to make doing a fair job easier.
The one meal deal contributes to the ease of the no sleep thing; and the lighter the one meal, the easier the wakefulness.
It has been a complication specific to me that I went public with this so that I am now not only dealing with the actual problem, but the secondary thoughts of what people will think (again, my stubborn nature rebels). I recommend you keep your practice to yourself!
One more thing: I am convinced now that there must be considerable health benefits to this practice: I have been blowing off mucus since early last evening, and this has been the case every time I have done this so far. Cleaning out the old tubes!
And Again, Deeper than that!
I have found it helpful in my practice, and others may find it helpful to set as a goal for this wakefulness discipline the ability to put it to use seven days a week. This has taken the emphasis off the accomplishment of 100% wakefulness during one night, and placed it on greater wakefulness every night. (Again, for me, the less it looks to me like I am forcing myself into a ritual, the greater I seem to cooperate.)
Try starting at the lame end of the practice: go to bed at your usual time and get up earlier — do that for a few weeks; observe yourself and what makes you tick. I know for a fact that when I am really interested in something I can work all night and not even notice it. So what makes the difference? What being, is it so tough to stay up. For me, as I said, the foremost barrier seemed to be a rebellious streak: nobody's going to force me to stay up all night ... but as usual the devil overplayed his hand by trying to force me to sleep several hours earlier than usual.
